Some things are easier when visiting in the dark. To start with I don't have to see how grubby Brena has become rolling in the dirt. Suddenly those bright sunny days seem far away.
However I feel Brena's outward appearance when I run my hands over her as she eats. Muddy, her mane carrying embedded clods. Well, she is just being a horse.
Work became more serious, and more rewarding, when finally my promotion was announced. It took a year of effort and patience to reach this position. Now, for nearly the first time in my working life, there will be enough money coming in that I do not need to worry.
Worry about money has been a nagging ache for years. It reached a peak in exile when subject to the vagaries of the tourist economy. The holiday season extended through barely seven months. The other five were cold and we seemed to do nothing but buy hay and feed it in large quantities. That level of worry, extending over years, leaves its mark. It has conditioned me to eat everything on my plate always, collect fallen apples, and turn down the heating as a reflex action. Well, now the spreading poison can be driven out. At last. Grey autumn weather or not, the world seems brighter.
For now that brightness will cover over problems, just as the dark keeps me from seeing how muddy Brena has become. But her dirtiness is natural, awkward as it can be when my agenda takes over from hers. But really this isn't even a problem, just life. Likewise most other issues are "normal" and not every one is a problem. Good news does give me the opportunity to view things according to their proper perspective.
Meanwhile I do have a lot of work to complete. That does not seem so bad when the weather is grim and the days grow short. I've ridden far enough in pouring rain to appreciate a warm bright office.
However I won't stop collecting windfall apples. It seems such a shame for them to go to waste,
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