Back from work - to be precise, from the final day of a "development" course - frazzled.
Not like the photo, when I arrived very tired from a long day out in bad weather. That was physical tiredness.
After this type of classroom training event I could curl up in a foetal position for hours, eyes closed pretending that the world is not out there.
The people who run these courses want to take participants beyond their comfort zones. Mine is out of doors, and preferably with horses. Simply being in a room full of people who are being challenged is far from my comfort zone, even if uncertainty and change are things that the guide takes in his or her stride.
At least I've learned to be ready for the claustrophobia that sweeps across me like a wave in such sessions.
The course is supposed to energise complacent people and refocus those in a rut. I am neither. I am restless and curious. But this course has taught me that I am different to my corporate colleagues. Different on a psychological level. I will always be the odd one out.
The trick will be to survive this place. I need the money in order to pay for a place to live and keep my horses. With such turmoil within, no wonder strange and disturbing dreams well up.
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