Diagnosis

As of today, I am legally disabled in the UK, thanks to assessment by a specialist. My Asperger's is sufficient that the Equality Act covers me.

At one level this has come as a shock. Most of us would like to be 'typical'. I would like to be able to understand more of what other people are thinking, feeling and communicating. I would like to be much better at recognising faces. It would be nice not be become exhausted by social activity and liable to become overwhelmed by too much sensory input.

And, yet, I have felt 'different' since childhood. This new knowledge adds a label to that feeling, which has continued lifelong. It does explain why I have become a technical expert and obsessively interested in some other things. Obsession with cycling led to me designing and making my own bicycles and riding them sixty thousand miles over a decade. An obsessive interest in horses ended up with me owning and running a trail riding centre for eight years. And now I have a quite detailed engineering job that reliably pays the bills. All that just seemed to happen, as if pre-destined, and as if each step was perfectly natural - until a couple of years ago when life began to unravel and the problems started (or became so obvious that I could no longer ignore them).

Legal protection entitles me to some 'reasonable adjustments' at work, many of them simple, such as a desk in a quieter part of the office. Others might pose more of an issue, such as clear objectives from a management that hasn't provided these for me for the past couple of years. And, perhaps most importantly, the bullying by a couple of people, both of whom should know better, directed against Asperger's symptoms is now defined as discrimination. If need be, there will be a legal redress for this.

It's nice to escape all this and ride Brena for a couple of hours. Horses are so much simpler. They communicate and respond directly, without politics or dishonesty. They might like to eat berries, however it's an honest desire.

This weekend we've had a couple of rides in the cool swift north wind, bright days, days when nature makes her presence known. Days when frost lingers in shady places, puddles remain frozen, and ground previously muddy is firm.

Brena seems calmer and happier in her new home, living within a mixed herd on a grassy hillside. It's the most natural environment that she has enjoyed so far. I hope that is a good portent for me. I do feel the need for a change, something that brings tranquillity.

 

Comments

[lytha]

Before Aspergers disorder was well known, we grew up teasing our little brother and telling him he was stupid every day. We were so cruel to him. He managed to graduate high school with extra help, but is on state support the rest of his life. Thankfully he is acknowledged as disabled so we don't have to worry about him losing his job for his social awkwardness.

Amazingly, he forgives us and loves us.

I'm glad to hear things are better for you at work, I hope it continues to improve.