My doctor has adjusted the dosage of my medication. Apparently I had been started off on a half dose of Citalopram in order to get used to it. I only learned this after several weeks. The half dose produced minimal side effects (mainly making me a bit sleepy at times - in fact I have also slept better most nights) whilst reducing anxiety and practically eliminating any desire to self-medicate with alcohol in the evenings. The full dose, over the first few days, led to a noticeable lowering of my energy level (I spent much of the first day asleep), plus several nights of strange and anxious dreams. It took a couple of days before I felt alert enough to drive.
Taking advice from others on the ASC spectrum, it became clear that some find a small daily dosage of anti-anxiety medication helpful. Citalopram is sold as an anti-depressant, but is used to treat anxiety too. I was asked: "am I depressed?" Probably not. I'm fairly positive, just a bit isolated on sick leave. It's no surprise that I have been feeling anxious with all the uncertainty over diagnosis and my employer's unhelpful (and illegal) reaction. I've not been all that energetic, however this is mid-winter. The hours of darkness are long, and it's cold out, with most trails muddy and bleak. Brena is currently an hour and a half away, a disincentive to pop over for an hour's ride.
So I've gone back to a half dosage, as that seems to help me sufficiently. I have another piece of information about how to survive.
This weekend rain and a little snow fell. The snow had melted before dark fell. It's strangely relaxing watching rain fall from the shelter of a warm room. I haven't sufficient cabin fever to want to head out into dripping woods. Not yet. Give it a few more days.....
Come to think of it, I used to do my share of riding on wet, misty hillsides. And I have just re-proofed by stockmen's coat.
Afternoon light is visibly lasting longer too. It is nice to return home from riding in some semblance of daylight.
And I've changed my medication schedule to the evening, making (I hope) for less sleepiness during the day.
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